yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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