but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
