Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
my poor anus
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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