I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
