On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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