Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
