i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
