Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Randomize
