RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
