the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
