Apparently you make a good broom.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize