I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
