They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
