What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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