Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
