Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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