At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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