i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
