I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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