But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize