You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
