don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
