He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
