its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
