It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize