I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
As shirtless as possible
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize