Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
