I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize