Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
