Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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