I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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