I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
