3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I looked at my own cervix.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Randomize
