Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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