You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
