Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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