He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
