a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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