sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
