So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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