he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
