We're facebook friends in real life
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
