The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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