Have you finally orgasmed yet?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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