What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
