Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
