someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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