Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
