FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
