the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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