I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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