Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
