So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
