We won't sleep together?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
