just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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