I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
