I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize